Coping with Stress

Today is World Mental Health Day. This made me think about my own mental health and my relationship with it. As a student, I can get pretty stressed out. With exams, projects, papers, and all the other graded aspects of taking classes seemingly occurring at the same time it is hard not to be stressed. Adding on outside activities and responsibilities like relationships with friends and family, work, etc. some weeks can just feel like a rollercoaster. Now stress is actually a completely normal and healthy reaction to situations or events. The issue is when this reaction persists and/or becomes overwhelming. Prolonged stress can impact you both physically and mentally, and seriously impact your life. 

Burnout is a serious issue that results from prolonged stress that is unmanaged. It has physical, emotional, and mental aspects, and often people do not realize they are burned out until it is too late. Managing stress is a method for avoiding burnout, and for me that includes both self-care techniques and stress coping techniques. 

Self-care has become a huge market recently. You see tons of “self-care” things in stores, and articles or videos detailing extensive self-care routines. Of course, it is fun to treat yourself but I do not think it is necessary. Self-care will be different for everyone. In fact, I have found that I need different things at different times. Understanding that self-care is fluid has been key for me to learn how to implement it.

The first thing I had to learn about practicing self-care was that there was nothing wrong with taking time to care for myself. Even if it was for 20 minutes, I would sometimes feel guilty for not doing something “productive”. So I have been trying to build habits that help to reconnect with myself, but do not lead me to feel guilt or encourage me to neglect other areas of my life. In order to do this, I decided to make a list of things that I enjoy and that helps me to recharge and relieve stress.

SELF CARE HABITS

• Spending time with myself
• Reading a book or watching videos
• Talking to friends and family more regularly
• Getting enough sleep

From what I learned about self-care, I understood it to be something you need to practice regularly regardless of how you are feeling. You should just do these habits when you are starting to feel negative effects. So my list consists of things that make me feel good, and help me to feel grounded. This, of course, is not an exhaustive list and I do not need to do everything each time I am practicing self-care. But they certainly do help!

Since stress is unavoidable, I don’t think it makes sense to try to “avoid” it. It can be super easy to say that if you have the right tools, manage your time, and make sure you’re drinking enough water that you will not be stressed out. But it just doesn’t work that way. There are always times when I am stressed out more than usual. So, instead, I want to find better ways to deal with it. 

In reality, this is a list of things I need to be aware of and do more often. And I want to be one hundred percent honest when I say that I struggle with most, if not all, of these things. And based on what I have seen with other people, I do think that is normal. You should be constantly adjusting and tweaking what your habits in order to deal with stress because what you are stressed about will also constantly change. 

STRESS COPING STRATEGIES

• Get sleep
• Learning when to take a break
• Prioritize
• Ask for help
• Clear your head

These are all things that I can neglect when I feel stressed. I have found that without doing these things I start to crash. One of the first things I neglect when stressed is sleep. Then I end up exhausted and fail to prioritize things making my tasks pile up. Which adds to my stress even more, and makes me lose more sleep because I now need to catch up on everything. So I’ll need to make realistic goals for each day that are reflective of deadlines, both personal and otherwise. To do this I like to think about what is urgent and why it is urgent. Because sometimes I may wrongly place urgency on things that can actually wait. 

Next, I need to stay in tune with *both* my body and mind. Figuring out when I need a break is another skill that I need to strengthen. It’s not healthy to just keep pushing through, especially when you are sleep deprived and fatigued. So I try to take breaks and rest when needed. For example, during intense study sessions, I’ll make sure to eat and drink water, try not to sit still for too long, and avoid studying straight through for several hours. During breaks, I try to clear my head as much as possible. Or I’ll take time in the morning or evening to just do things slowly. This can mean a range of things including reading a book, talking to a friend, watching some TV or going for a walk. 

But what I find the toughest to do is asking for help. Especially when I’m stressed out. Even today when I met with my research professor, he encouraged me to have other people trained in my methods to help me out. I also had a discussion with another lab member about trusting the work of others. That is not to say that I don’t trust that others can handle it. I am more than capable of delegating and working in groups. But when I have major things I need to be done, and deadlines to hit I’m more likely to seclude myself and do everything myself. I also tend to feel bad for asking for help, because other people have their own things to worry about. And yet I am willing to help others. So I need to be better at letting people help me. And that will definitely be an adjustment. 

It is very important to understand that what works for one person may not work for another person. I have friends who like to go out and be social in order to destress and recharge. But for me, that would not help when I’m wound up. So when you are building your own routine be sure to use trial and error, and figure out what works best for *you*.

What ways do you use to practice self-care and cope with stress? 

-Tatyana x